Nothing says the new years like accusations.  I know it it’s only been one month into the new year, but it opened up with all sorts of wild accusations from certain colleagues of mine about incompetence.  Namely mine.

I guess that’s what happens when you land a $100K grant that’s renewable for 10 years and they didn’t (especially in these hard economic times–the smaller specialized classes help too when they have +40 in a class and I cap around 30).  And in honor of them I decided to write this poem, though much of it was inspired by Cal Poly Pomona (the fake Cal Poly) administration as recounted to me by countless alumni:

Morlocks (1st draft)

You know them well from ten to two.
Diligent at their nine to five.
–Though sometimes they’re out to lunch,
Their job is always finished.

Satisfied with government work
And their logoed business cards
–They toil away–
Confident in what you don’t know.

After all sweeping mines builds
Hand and eye;
Solitaire: critical thought.
Don’t tread on their sacred rights!

They earned it well by who they knew
By favors, race, or blood.
Better a nibble from everyone’s plate
Than eating your children whole.

Top 5 Laziest Inventions

This is pretty interesting and sarcastic.

The Allosaurus.  Because it’s cool.  And also in one of my favorite author’s (Arthur Conan Doyle), books The Lost World.

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Legos of course.  Why are they special?  Because I could make them into anything I could dream about.  I certainly wasn’t the best at creating new things; my buddies were far more creative with those blocks.  But the fact that I can imagine something and then try to make it take shape using those blocks was fascinating. 

I remember making a cut away of a starship with those blocks.  It had hallways that lead to the bridge, engine room, and gun ports.  That was fun.  Castle Legos and Pirate Legos were my favorite. 

Now it just seems that there’s no time to play and all time to work.  I know some people (older than me) that are master builders and do some R&D for Legos. I’ve seen them make spheres out of rectangular blocks.  Amazing.  I’ve also seen them build Star Destroyers and Death Stars.  Those sets have over 10,000 pieces.

My next favorite toys were of course army men.  I had a small collection of Britains Deetail soldiers.  You know what I think that these were more favored than Legos though I played with Legos more.  I loved setting my soldiers up.  I had a collection of Heer Wehrmacht soldiers that were my favorite I’d set them agains my U.S. soldiers.  It’s hard to believe that that brand of army men are now worth quite a bit of money.  I wonder how much my collection is worth.  I tried to keep all my German soldiers in the best condition possible they were, of course, far cooler than the other figures.

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It’s been freaking crazy at my work and life.  Finally finished my Masters and am looking for opportunities to get out of Dodge.  Teaching is just not worth it anymore.  There’s too many riff-raff that float around and clog up the classroom–that goes for teachers and students.  Anyway,  on to something more worthwhile:

Message Received (1st draft)

An e-mail would have been nice
Or an IM;
A voicemail or even a
Note scrawled on a used napkin
Would have been better.

But all you sent was
White space;
The absence of words
Emphasizing
Nothing
Between
Us.

The hearts of my victims, but chances are I ate them already so it’ll probably be fried chicken and a nice fat cowboy ribeye steak from Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse–served by naked playboy playmates.  Hey I’m going to die.  Is it necessary to be completely proper?

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Earth Quake happening right now while I’m writing!

This is an interesting article.  Just read it.

I can’t believe that anyone would want to humiliate their child by giving them a bizzare name.  I mean “Sex Fruit” and “Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii?”  What kind of frakked off names are those?   I thought “Latrina” was pretty awful for as student to have or even “Lemonjello” and “Orangejello” were pretty insane.  

I used to think that Samuel was a pretty damned horrible name, but I realized as time went on it was quite a good name.  An 18th century name, a name authors, statesmen, and beer. 

But to make up some weirdo name out of ignorance and or puerile amusement is beyond comprehension.  Those people should have their heads guillotined off for tormenting their children this way.

My favorite low budget activity is going to the library (or even the Huntington although my membership pays for it)  with a favorite book or two, a notebook for writing, and soaking in the industrial air conditioning.  Cost: $0.

Next would be going to a cafe with the same. Cost: $5 and being surrounded by noisy people.

As for activities with friends anything goes, but it usually costs more than $20.

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Choose to be optimistic.  Choose to look and think about things differently.  Control the inner voice and tell it to say something different when it says something negative.  There’s no other way.  One has to want to be optimistic.

I have always hoped for the best, but experience has taught me to expect the worst from people and situations.  One of my favorite writers put it this way about people in general:  “they are ungrateful, fickle, dissembling, anxious to flee danger, and covetous of gain.  So long as you prolong their advantage they are all yours, as I said before, and will offer you their blood, their goods, their lives and their children when the need for these is remote.  When the need arises, however, they will turn against you.”

I found this to be true so I choose to think cautiously.  Still it’s hard to force myself to think optimistcally when necessary, especially around friends and bretheren in Christ.  Sometimes it bothers me to think about how naive they are to the evil taint that lurks in most people’s hearts. 

Teaching of course only adds to the notion that most people are as my favorite author describes.  I find it amusing, at times, to observe some pompous, dimwitted, new teacher full of altruistic expectations to save the world be eaten alive by those half-feral creatures squashed into her classroom.  A pity really.  Most of those animals should be strapped  The Wheel of Pain rather than have to study (ironically to them a wheel of pain itself).  But I digress.

Think positively.  Don’t become a teacher unless you really want to.
   

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