April 17, 2008

  • What does it take for someone to earn your trust?

    Proof of sincerity.  Lots of it.  Even then my trust for someone can evaporate quickly based on my perception of their trustworthiness.

    I suppose there are levels or the way I conceive of it: city walls.   The walls are the layers of my defense, obviously and it takes endless passwords and inspections to pass just one, so to speak.  I'll define them as:

    1. Acquaintance
    2. Friend
    3. Close friend
    4. Confidant
    5. Intimate

    Not many have really made it past more than the third wall and stayed as a confidant for long.  I can count the few with one hand.  I suppose that my critia for earning trust are legion, but here are a few:

    • Timeliness
    • Honesty/openness/bluntness
    • Willingness to be wrong & to forgive when I'm wrong
    • A sense of humor
    • Patience
    • Respect for my person & privacy
    • A sense of shame

    I have to say that timeliness is a big one on my list.  I can't abide people who are habitually late or late more than 10 minutes.  I really is a sign of disrespect for me.  I guess that's why I can't and won't tolerate people from cultures that don't have a certain Anglo-Germanic sense of timing.  I will never trust people like that.  I, frankly, find it an abuse on my graciousness.  It's highly disrespectful, regardless of culture.  And if their culture endorses that, I will, very narrow-mindedly, consider it an obviously inferior culture not worthy my respect or tolerance.

    Of course this is highly prejudicial.  Afterall, the persons that I trust are based solely on my own subjective prejudices and judgements.  I don't need to be openminded and can be as selective as I want to be.  If I find someone slovenly and without a sense of personal hygene, well, then, away with them.  If they have an annoying laugh, begone.  A poor sense of color coordination, well, disappear.  I don't need to tolerate people I don't like.  Even if they are my leaders.

    Take Barak Obama.  I wouldn't trust him even if he were really a Christian & liked guns and not a Manchurian Candidate for Muslims.   I like his intolerant streak and his sophistic ability to say whatever the mob wants to hear, but he's on the wrong side of the fence.  An America hater has no business being the President.
      

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